Listening

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1. 1Listening is a skill, not a personality trait. You can't build a skill you don't know you're missing, so find yourself on the four stages of learning: unconsciously incompetent, consciously incompetent, consciously competent, unconsciously competent.
2. 2Seeing the gap isn't enough to close it. You need something concrete to anchor your practice. The three levels of listening are that anchor.
3. 3Level 1: attention on yourself. Your stories, your opinions, your solutions. It isn't malicious, it's human. But it closes doors.
4. 4Level 2: attention on them. You stay in their story and give them room to go deeper. "Tell me more."
5. 5The question doesn't make it Level 2. Where your attention goes while they answer does. A great question followed by your own story is still Level 1.
6. 6Level 3: attention on everything. Energy, body language, what isn't said, what the room feels like. It's where you start to hear a player's inner critic before they name it.
7. 7With youth, protect the play. Some kids are there for the competition, some for their friends, some for the ball. Notice which, and protect it.
8. 8When a kid sits through a big game on the bench, most coaches say nothing, talk to the group, or say "your time will come." Nobody asks the kid anything. Ask "What was that like for you?" and stay with the answer.
9. 9Elite and college athletes are rewiring who they are. Listen for who they're becoming, not just who they are today. At the pro level, see the human carrying the pressure behind the athlete.
10. 10Listen to yourself first. A shift in your energy is information. You can push through it, get curious about it, or trust what it's telling you. You can't show up connected to your players if you're disconnected from yourself.