I’ve spent my life in love with education. And the world of coaching education is phenomenal. The knowledge of how to coach has never been richer.
But there’s a piece missing. One nobody ever taught me.
Knowledge doesn’t change behavior.
That isn’t just my hunch. Behavioral economics won a Nobel Prize for basically this: give people the right information, and they still don’t act on it. People aren’t rational. Information was never the thing that moved them.
Which means knowing how to coach isn’t enough. We’ve built the whole field on talking to the head. And the head was never the part that moves us.
The more precise we get on the tactical and the physical, the wider the gap grows on the one thing we can’t measure. The human.
So the real question isn’t whether people have the information. It’s what makes a person actually move once they have it.
That’s what this book is about.
What's inside
Thirteen chapters in three parts. Every chapter ends with one thing to try, with a real person, in a real conversation.
Introduction: The Gap
We know so much about the game, and so little about the part everything runs through. What this book is, who it is for, and what it asks of you.
Prologue
Before the skills, the story of how a coach ends up needing them.
Part 1
The Skills
1Listening
The three levels of listening, and why the best coaches hear what was never said.
Practice this chapter2The Saboteur
The voice in your head has a job, and it is not your performance. Learning to catch it in the act.
Practice this chapter3Being and Doing
The work is what you do. This chapter is about who you are while you do it.
Practice this chapter4Powerful Questions
The question you choose decides whether they learn to defend themselves or discover themselves.
Practice this chapter5Curiosity
What becomes available when you trade judgment for curiosity.
Practice this chapter6Articulating What's Going On
Reading the energy in the room, meeting people where they actually are, and saying back what you heard.
Practice this chapter
Part 2
The Foundation
7The Four Cornerstones
The four beliefs underneath the whole methodology, and what coaching looks like when you actually hold them.
Practice this chapter8Fulfillment
Not happiness. Aliveness. Finding where a person is most themselves, and coaching from there.
Practice this chapter9Balance
Two options is not a choice, it is a symptom. Where you stand when you look at your situation.
Practice this chapter10Process
Pain is coming. What happens in you when it does, and the three ways of being in the water.
Practice this chapter11Learning and Actions
The system that keeps a season aligned with what you said in the quiet room: the return, the review, and the commitment.
Practice this chapter
Part 3
The Relationship
12Designed Alliance
The first real conversation is not about their goals. It is about us. Building the relationship on purpose, out loud.
Practice this chapter13The Wheel of Coaching
Zoom in to do the work. Zoom out to make sure it is the right work. Two wheels: one for your life, one for your program.
Practice this chapter
Conclusion
The elephant, the tree, and what this book is for. Not to be finished. To be returned to.
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Coming soonPaperback
Paperback publishing December 2026.
The audiobook
The whole book, read by me. It comes with the book as a private feed you open in the podcast app you already use.
How the audiobook works