Fulfillment

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1. 1Fulfillment means being wholly alive. It isn't happiness, and a player can be fulfilled in his hardest stretch or empty while winning.
2. 2Pleasure fades by Tuesday. Growth and meaning compound. Know which one you're coaching toward.
3. 3Replace "How do I motivate them?" with "What makes this person come alive?" Find the fuel line, and effort follows on its own.
4. 4First answers about values are usually borrowed. The real ones are buried underneath.
5. 5Use anger to find values. Anger is the alarm that goes off when a value is stepped on. Questions about happy moments mostly return stories about wins.
6. 6Listen for values across the season and name them out loud: "It sounds like fairness is a big one for you." With youth, a short survey is a good start.
7. 7Don't make values an August whiteboard event. Return to them when things get hard, because that's what they're for.
8. 8Help players find their Leader Within, the balance of self-acceptance and self-authority. Have them give that self an anchor (a word, an image, like a turtle), and let them find it rather than supplying it.
9. 9Individual and team values will rub, and that's normal. A player who feels seen can accept team-first decisions. When the saboteur makes him flinch at what he wants, don't argue with it. Come back to the value.
10. 10Answer the question for yourself first. About a third of coaches report constant exhaustion. Your staff runs on different fuel than you do, so get curious and name any misalignment openly.