Articulating What's Going On

Tap the ones you want to practice. They stay marked on this phone.

1. 1Seek first to understand. Saying back what you heard is step one of every meaningful conversation.
2. 2Two filters distort every exchange: how the person compresses what they share, and how you hear it through your own history.
3. 3Expect to be wrong. Even trained coaches restate accurately only about 15% of the time. The misses help the conversation find what's true.
4. 4The more charged the moment, the more a neutral, honest restatement matters.
5. 5Embodiment comes first. Be in your body and meet the person's energy without mimicking it. A high-energy coach walking into a heavy room creates friction before a word is spoken.
6. 6Read geography: posture, pace, breath, energy, and setting. Don't confuse it with the story you build about why they're acting that way.
7. 7Settle your own energy before reading anyone else's. Presence comes before technique.
8. 8With youth, protect the "child" stage of Nietzsche's camel, lion, and child. Every session either keeps sport a place of play or starts loading the weight.
9. 9With older athletes, use the sequence: notice, ask an open question, receive by matching their energy, then say it back. "So what I'm hearing is... Tell me if I have that right." Assistants are often best placed to do this. It isn't therapy.
10. 10When taking over a program, learn what was already there before you install anything. Hold one-on-ones, reflect back to the group what you heard, and only then share your vision.